76 months

AF arrived this morning****six days late might i add. She brought along severe nausea, an upset stomach, and some intense cramping.
And her arrival marks the beginning of cycle #76: 76 months of trying to have a baby. 76 months of my body still not doing what it's supposed to do. 76 months of testing,blood work, checkups,etc. 76 months and 4 different doctors. 76 months ,a husband, and 6 doggies later.
     When I say 76 months it doesn't seem as long as me saying 6 and a half years. But that's 76 months that I don't have to do over again. That's 76 months of getting to know about the male/female anatomy. In fact, I could probably major in endocrinology  with all of the things I know now! I could also major in Faith! Because I have had to have a whole 76 months of that so far! Well actually it would be minus the first 24 months because I didn't understand why God would allow me to go through this.
     I wasn't always happy with my circumstance. In fact, the first 2 years of TTC were the worst. I didn't understand how God could love me but allow me to have infertility. I went through depression. I wanted to shut everyone out. I hated going to family functions. I hated holidays. I hated Mother's day. Father's Day! I hated the baby isle at Walmart, Target, and every other store that had baby stuff! I hated going places where there could be pregnant women everywhere. I hated walking to my mailbox just to see another baby shower invite/birth announcement. I hated baby dedication at church. I was so full of hate!  I would take hour long showers and just cry. After 2 years of feeling sorry for myself, I finally realized that it was time to pick myself up out of the hole I was digging. Now 4 years later, I am the happiest I have ever been! I can rejoice in pregnancy announcements and baby showers. I can rejoice in Mother's day with other mothers! I even planned a few babyshowers! If you are going through what I call "IF (infertility)blues" you are not alone. In fact most women who go through infertility, go through the "IF blues".  Just know that I would love to chat with anyone who just needs a shoulder to cry on!  I am a very good listener!

      Anyway I had a few people ask me a few questions about myself. So on my next blog post I will answer those. It's not too late to get your questions to me. You can email me at robinsonlainey717@gmail.com.
    These are just questions you wanted to know about us. I will be addressing those tomorrow :) Until then night yall!