So often, We (women that are going through infertility) get on social media sites and cringe when we see some of the things people post. Like the friend that complains about her children, or the person who is calling her kids all these horrible words. Or my favorite, the women who find out they are pregnant and say things like " Well im pregnant, urgh" or " Man I can't drink for 8 whole months" or " I hope I don't get fat from this baby". Yes I am always amazed at the things people post. Sometimes we just want to say " At least you can HAVE children". Or "At least you can carry your baby full term". It's very hard not to call them out on the things that are so hurtful to us. But today, as I was ready to say something, I stopped. My mind and mouth were so ready to just let it all out and tell them what I thought. But my heart said otherwise. You see as I was getting ready to comment on their post, I was reminded of how sometimes I get angry with my husband. Luckily for me I have never posted it on facebook. You see if I had posted on facebook it probably would have come out as if I disliked my husband and that sometimes I wonder....but in reality I love my husband and would not consider anything other than being together. But emotions and frustrations boil and things are said out of pure exhaustion. Now if I had posted that, I think about the single women/mommies who are thinking "At least she has a husband". I know of quite a few people, who long to be married or find someone that is their other half. I often wonder how they feel when others comment about how crappy their marriage is.
Now I'm not comparing infertility to being single. Because infertility is a true medical condition that some never recover from. But it did make me realize that sometimes these moms that I find complaining, are usually doing so out of pure exhaustion. They may be feeling that they aren't a good mother. Maybe they are trying to keep it all together. Some are just hanging on by a thread. I'd like to say that because I have yearned for a baby for so long that I will never say those kinds of things but you really never know. I was talking to a woman in my group and she suffered from infertility for 16 years when she finally got pregnant. She said she always swore that she would never complain. But then life set in. She was exhausted, dealing with her husband who worked in the oilfield 9 months out of the year, taking care of her twins, running her house. And she said it. She told me that she told her sister "These kids are driving me crazy! I can't take much more of this!" She said at one point she missed the silence. Once her sister took her children so she could just get a break, she felt so bad for what she said. She said it out of pure exhaustion and aggravation. You can pretty much tell which moms are at their wits end and which ones just don't want to be moms. I take the time to let the moms who are at their wits end that they are doing a great job. That none of us are perfect and that their children are alive and healthy. Because at the end of the day, these are the same moms that text me to tell me that I will be a mom! These are the same women who encourage me on my journey. That understand if I am having a rough day.
So today this post isn't just about women with infertility but also for those moms that are just exhausted and feel weary. And also for those women that are still looking for their significant other. As women we should stand together and encourage one another. It may not be fair but each of us have our own trials and storms to walk through. It may make you feel a little better to have people in your corner.
Anyway I promise I will post more tomorrow but I have a cake and cupcakes to finish! Night ya'll!!! (Yes I am Cajun :)
Lainey
