Today I got to witness something truly miraculous. I was able to watch the birth of my god child. Now, I have 7 god children but this was different. I have seen 9 births, 8 of them were vaginal. That's what makes number 9 so miraculous for me. My sister-in-law gave birth via c-section. Today was a very humbling experience for me. You see, not only did I get to fulfill a life long dream of getting to scrub in on a surgery (I'm a faithful Grey's Anatomy fan), but I was accountable to someone other than myself and spouse.
April, my sister-in-law, depended on me to let her know what was going on. She depended on me to encourage her. She was scared. She let me know twice that she was scared. And it was my job to let her know that she would be fine. When I saw that precious little baby being pulled out, it was like time stood still. All these thoughts ran through my head about her future, her health, but mostly about the love. I had just met her and couldn't be more in love with her. She was perfect! She was beautiful! She is still so innocent. Standing in the elevator with her in the incubator seemed so precious to me. I wanted to hit my knees and thank God for the little piece of heaven that he sent my family. But mostly, looking into her tiny face, knowing that God promised me this exact thing.
I won't be childless forever. God promises me a future of hope. He hasn't denied me children. He has simply asked me to wait. Im not being punished. Nothing is wrong with me. After all, I am fearfully and wonderfully made! One of my favorite books in the bible is Samuel. For those that are not familiar with it let me give you a quick reference :
Hannah prayed year after year after year for children. She was often consumed with thoughts of infertility, so distraught that she could not eat. The Bible tells us that Hannah was heartbroken, and she began to pray to the Eternal One, weeping uncontrollably as she did (1 Samuel 1:9-10). When Eli saw Hannah praying (she was weeping, and her lips were moving, but words were not coming out…boy does that sound familiar!) he rebuked her for being drunk. Hannah had to explain to him that she was not drunk, but that she was a woman who has been pouring out the pain in her soul before the Eternal One (1 Samuel 1:15).
Out of all of the stories I have read about infertility in the Bible, Hannah’s is the one that resonates the loudest. Her pain in something that I can feel reading the Scriptures, and it is a familiar pain, a familiar longing, and a familiar frustration. The Bible so clearly portrays the depths of her emotion, physical, and spiritual pain.
But eventually, God remembered Hannah’s petition, and she became pregnant with Samuel. After giving birth to Samuel, Hannah conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters.
Her son Samuel grew tall, and wise in the ways of the Lord. He grew in favor with God and with the people he served (2:26).
Samuel eventually became the last and greatest judge of Israel.
Wow! How awesome is that! So often we ask God, but forget to praise Him for the things we do have. We forget that God has promised a future of hope. We tend to give up on God when things get tough. But if we could just hold on to God's word, it will come to pass! Well my post is done. Have not slept for 17 hours so it's definitely my bedtime! So keep fighting the good fight!!!! It's coming!
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